Tag Archives: Happiness

Self-improvement, conclusive thoughts

I’ve been thinking long and hard for a few days about how to progress with this self-improvement journey on the blog. I came up with a few topics for new lessons, but after assessing them, I think they can all fit in to this conclusive post on self-improvement lessons. That isn’t to say I won’t be posting more tips and advice that has worked for me to improve my life, but I will probably do it in a slightly different context rather than straight up self-improvement lessons.

 

Self-improvement hurts a lot.

I will compare it to a blister. Starting your private journal is a bit like taking a huge needle and puncturing it. The hurt, anger and self-addressing that will inevitably happen, is like that disgusting liquid that comes out when the blister is punctured… Like a blister, the puncturing and the cleaning out of the wound are likely to be extremely painful and uncomfortable. But just like the relief you feel when the blister is gone and everything cleaned up, you will feel better for addressing what needs to be addressed. You will get that fresh clean mental slate you need to start rebuilding whatever it is that you need to rebuild in your life. Keeping the journal going is like maintenance work, so that if everything starts to blister up, it won’t become as bad.

 

When you self-improve, you will lose people.

Not everyone is going to like the new you. Losing friends or in some cases family from your life can be a relief, especially if they’re holding you back from who you want to be, or it can be very painful. People appear in your life for a reason, a season or a lifetime. So rest assured that the lifetime people will find their way back to you. It may just be that they’re behind you in their development journey. But don’t wait for anyone to catch up with you. Keep going, because stopping or regressing in your journey will not get you where you want to be.

 

Improving yourself has the potential to make you very powerful.

When you are in a good place where your thoughts are more positive, less cluttered, your inner monologue strengthens you and you genuinely love yourself, you are gonna be on fire! This doesn’t mean that life will be perfect and you’ll wake up on a natural high every day. But your sense of general mental wellbeing will make it easier to go through those shitty days we all get from time to time. And when your self-development journey has taken you far enough, you will probably be able to see the beauty in the bad emotions. For example I had a very awful break-up three years ago that left me out of bounce for a very long time. But thinking back to that break-up I remember a lot of beautiful things about that time that I didn’t see then. For instance I spent a lot of time alone thinking and that developed me into a better version of myself. Had I been where I am now, I probably would have been able to take comfort in the things that weren’t so bad a lot quicker than I did back then. I’m by no means trying to glorify bad days or grief of any kind. But being in a good place mentally can help you turn the sadness into usefulness. When I feel down now, I journal and then do some songwriting. It helps.

 

Believe in yourself.

I have met religious people who put all their trust in God, who are puzzled at how they are not progressing while their atheist counterpart is doing swimmingly. Dig a little deeper into those people and the issue become clear. They feel unconfident in themselves and their abilities while the atheist has a lot of self-belief. What I’m trying to say is that whatever you may believe in, you can’t reap the benefits of your own abilities unless you actively decide to believe in yourself. “God will do it for me while I just tag along,” isn’t a good attitude. If you believe that God created you in his image and that he has a plan for your life, the least you can do to honour God, is to speak positivity into your life and take the necessary action to achieve what you want to achieve. Prayer, meditation or self-reflection, depending on what you believe in, is also a necessary step to achieve what you want. Because what they all essentially are, is your mind focusing on one issue. That alone, won’t get you where you need to be, but together with actions, it’s powerful and keeps your thoughts tidier.

 

It’s ok to be a little selfish

Not in that negative me first, me all the time, kind of way. But taking timeouts or making sacrifices in order to achieve your goals is something every expert encourages. Your friends might not understand why you choose to be at home on a Friday night, or why you don’t use social media or drink alcohol. It’s important not to be discouraged by this though. In order for you to become the best you, your need for space or new healthy practices should be high priorities. Self-development happens differently for everyone and in different phases. So it might just be that you need a short timeout from what you used to do. But don’t let anybody pressure you. As a friend who might not be going through this process now because you’ve either done it, or you aren’t there yet, encourage your friend to take the time they need for themselves. As long as it’s a positive withdrawal that doesn’t seem to stem in mental health issues, you have nothing to worry about.

 

Finally, have fun along the way.

Are you ready to take the step and improve your life? Enjoy your journey and all the blessings and good things that will follow. Take as big or as small steps as you need and share it with as few or as many as you like, though don’t exhaust yourself. Choosing 1 thing to focus on each month and achieve it is better than choosing ten things and achieving only a couple, so bare that in mind. As much as it can be painful and serious, it’s also fun and joyful.

 

Write down a list of what you do, then a list of what makes you happy and adjust accordingly where you can. You deserve to be happy and have the best life you possibly can have.

My 2013

During my years in the BBC, I had a colleague who read palms. Upon reading mine one day, she said “I’m surprised you’re not more confused than you are. Your creative and sensible sides are very conflicting with each other.” She is very right, which made me respect her skill. She didn’t know me very well at the time. And my 2013 has been very much like my colleague described me. It has been an extremely happy and uplifting year, but also a painful one. But let me rewind and do this month by month.

January: I fell onto the subway tracks and I survived! I think that was very miraculous. It’s one of Oslo’s busiest stations, and I fell at a time when there was no train coming. As I couldn’t get up because I had fallen backwards, a man jumped down to lift me up and a girl received me at the top of the tracks. Luckily for me, I was on my way to the doctor and feeling slightly hysterical from the fall, I got there with my two rescuers walking me.

Despite being in quite a lot of pain from the fall, I boarded a plane four days later and went to Monaco. I stayed with some Egyptian friends there on the 25th floor of a block of flats and I had the time of my life. Me and my friend who are both singers, held an impromptu concert in a bar in Monte Carlo that had karaoke, and it went down so well that we were asked to come back the next day.

February: I fell again. But this time I fell in love. That can be more dangerous and painful than falling off a subway platform, but it is more fun, those times when it is not agonizing of course. The man is a bright and good looking Ghanaian student, who like me, work for the student radio station in Oslo.

March: I took the radio presenter’s test, which meant that I put together and presented the hour long news and current affairs show on our radio station by me. I passed and I now have an official paper saying I’m a qualified radio presenter. Live radio presenting is something I’ve grown to love more than I thought I would and I do hope I have my own show some day.

March/April: I also did the longest trip of my life so far. I traveled alone to New Zealand to visit a cousin and then on to Australia to visit a friend. I did so much on these two trips that I wouldn’t do them any justice by summing them up in this post. But let me say that I recommend anyone who can you should go there. I hope to go back one day, but preferably with some company because the flights are long. I slept as much as I could and I made some friends on the plane, for the duration of the journey, but still, company would have been nice. And I’d love to share a trip like that with somebody simply because it’s so incredible to be on the other side of the world. I did get to touch both koalas, kanagroos, wallabies, wombats and a kiwi.

April/May: I went to Iceland with my fellow master students. Iceland is also very amazing and we had so much fun walking on volcanos, soaking in natural baths and going out every evening. Of course, this all happened when we weren’t doing something study related, which was quite fun too. Especially because during our trip to RUV, the Icelandic broadcasters, we were shown around by Iceland’s most famous news Anker.

In May I also hosted a party with my partner for the first time ever. It was a Ghanaian party, meaning we served Ghanaian food. I learned never to mix Amarula and wine again!

June: I went to Skagen with one of my closest allies. Or is it called closest friends? No, ally is cooler I think. Skagen is that place in Denmark where you can walk out on the beach and have one foot in the Baltic Sea and one in the North Sea. I was there as a child, but didn’t remember because I was little. The place is magic and when you have a foot in each ocean, you can literally feel the two meet because they strike against each other

July/August: I wrote a teen novel for my niece for her confirmation. The title Vilde Gudenes utvalgte translates as Vilde, chosen by the gods and is about a girl Vilde who enters into the Greek mythological world to help make right a wrong that has been done and which have caused the world of the gods to die out. Writing it was a strange experience in a good way and I felt as if the story lived its own life and that I was just sent by someone to write it down. Writing in Norwegian was difficult for me however, because English has over time become the language I prefer to express myself in when writing unless we’re talking about informal emails and so on, where it doesn’t matter to me which of the two languages I use. But getting reacquainted with writing my mother tongue was also good.

August: I went back to Skagen with my same close ally who I’d gone with in June as well as my other half. That too was a nice trip and we had better weather. Next time I go to Skagen, I hope to swim in the Baltic Sea.

October: I made my first full length radio documentary. It’s entitled Faith as career, and features three people who have incorporated their faith into their life style or career choices. The first one is a girl studying to become a catechist in the Norwegian Lutheran church, the second a guy from a Pentecostal background who is the leader of the Oslo Youth party of a prominent Christian political party. The third person is a Catholic sister of the Dominican order who is also a physicist and who had and is continuing to have, a profound impression on me. The three made for a very good and dynamic documentary for which I’ve had some good feedback.

I also had a splendid girls trip to Copen Hagen. It was crazy, a little Sex and the City style. And yes, I did spend money on a pair of expensive high heels. Italian high heels.

So a good year. But despite all those good things, I have had some painful times too. I don’t want to talk about them in detail, but they have taught me a few lessons. Firstly, that only sadness can show you what really matters in life. Secondly, that people you thought were not that close to you can be of good help. Thirdly, that pain makes you a better person, because it forces you to develop, think and reflect and it makes your appreciate even small moments of happiness a little more. And finally, despite wanting to delete most of the last three months of 2013 from my life, I am in some twisted way grateful that I have experienced the depth of the pain I’ve been in. Because I am still here, I am still laughing and little by little, I remove myself from it all and show myself how incredibly blessed I am to have what’s even more important during sad times than good friends or a partner. A strong personality, psyche and sense of reality. And that’s how I know; I’ll eventually be completely alright again.

I have had over 20.000 hits on my blog all time which is amazing considering how boring my posts have ben of late. I will try to amend that in 2014 and I may even post some of my short fiction from time to time. Thanks though to those of you who have read my ramblings and thanks for still returning. If you are on twitter, why not follow me at @Linn_M21 And if you enjoy my writing, you can read all the articles I have posted on http://www.styleable.co.uk
That is to say different articles than you find here, but probably some of them are on interest to some of my readers. On Twitter I also announce everything I publish. And should you be curious to see what I look like, you will find my picture both on Twitter and Stylable. I may include one on this site too at some point, though so far, I’ve left it as just a thought.

Happy 2014 to all of you and May the entire year be filled with laughter, good madness, and heart stopping moments of joy and peace and harmony.

Happy new year!