Knowing this has also been fundamental in changing my personal wellbeing. There is no way of escaping it though. Other people can make you feel good for a while, but unless you feel good within yourself, that feeling is not gonna last.
I personally believe that not loving oneself is the reason many relationships fail. People enter into relationships thinking it’s going to fix them. That if they can just be loved, they will love themselves. I think we’ve all been there at some point. I know I have. But for me, that’s never worked. If you don’t love yourself, and as a result of that have a low self-image, leaning emotionally on one other person to help you fix that is not only going to push that person away, but it’s going to drain their energy and make you feel even worse for having that effect on them.
Having said this though, we all need to be loved. Love from others boosts, encourages and can even improve us. But we need to stand on our own emotionally to truly benefit from what somebody’s love for us can do. And giving back to somebody what they are giving us is such a precious gift. do. And in order to give love, we need to have self-love.
If you have spent your life beating yourself up over practically everything, it’s not gonna be easy to just start loving yourself overnight. But start with the little things. Most of us talk to ourselves in our head or out loud. Sometimes subconsciously. The first step I suggest you take towards self-love is to listen to your inner voice. What does it sound like? What would you like it to sound like? Think about who you go to for advice when you’ve messed up for others or yourself and why you go to that person. Try to adjust that inner voice to fit with your ideal advisor. Make it even better if you can.
When you manage to talk yourself through mistakes you’ve made or upcoming challenges in a constructive and soothing way rather than telling yourself what an awful and incompetent person you are, you are on your way. If you’re already doing that, then that’s amazing. I am getting there.
Love yourself. Because though it won’t solve all of your life problems, it will lighten the burden of life and make you feel so much better. You deserved to be loved by you.