I’ve already devoted more space to blindness than first was intended for this blog. But it’s a part of me as much as the fact that I’ve got curly hair, or that I like reggae. It has defined and shaped my character, my life choices and opportunities to a certain extent. People usually ask me whether I wish I could see and the answer is yes, but not because I’m bitter about the fact I can’t see, or because I want to see the beautiful red/orange of the sunset, or the twinkling stars in the sky. No, I want to see because the society was never made for a blind person. Electronic or braille books was never the norm, and neither was audiodescription in cinemas, brailling in shops and blindness in general really. My biggest reason for wanting to see is that I’m always having to prove to people that I’m capable of living and breathing and that I sometimes have to fight for things sighted people take for granted. And there are people who won’t leave me alone because I carry a white cane. There are old ladies who always think I’m up for a chat, or people from certain countries who ask me who cooks my food or what I’m doing outside after dark. And last, but definitely not least, are the men who think they can get easy access to my body and money just because I’m blind. Afterall, I’m blind, so I must be a bit naive and desperate right?
Luckily this has only happened to me twice, but both times got my blood boiling with anger. I am no fool.
In the first case, it was a rather bad relationship with someone I thought was exciting, but someone I knew was bad for me. To cut a long story short, it ended when he understood I was too smart to let him have full access to my life, be it keys to my flat or bank account.
3 years later, I was friends with someone whom I genuinely had only platonic feelings towards. Sweet guy, but I was taken and he wasn’t my type. This friendship also ended because he realised I was never interested in being more than friends.
Surely, that happens to a lot of girls and it has happened to me in the past, but I can tell the difference between someone who plays on my supposed vulnarability to try and win me over so they can make some extra cash by making me trust and love them and and someone who got disappointed who genuinely thought me a suitable girlfriend and it really makes me sad to think that some people, be it women or men, befriends blind people and try to get with them to fulfill their own needs whatever they might be.
I realise it doesn’t just happened to blind people, but I know of other disabled people this has happened to.
The question I ask those sneaky “do gooders” is Where is your dignity? You certainly wouldn’t like the same thing done to you?
At the same time they make me laugh, because thinking that anyone would be stupid enough to fall for their game, means that they would be stupid enough to fall for someone elses game should the situation have been reversed!