Oh dear! julie pressed the trigger. What next? read on and find out.
A raspy wet feeling against my cheek woke me up. Woke me up? Hang on. I was dead. I’d just shot myself. I must be on the other side. In heaven, or God forbid, in hell. But if I was in hell, hell was a pretty comfortable place to be lying down. I moved my left leg. It felt like I was lying on something soft, like a mattress. “Julie?” A voice and someone leaning over me made me open my eyes. Annika was standing there with a worried expression on her face. On the bed next to me, was ruby, her little Chihuahua who was licking my cheek. “What’s going on?” I asked. My head was thumping as if an army was marching to a battle in there. “You tell me what’s happening,” Annika said and pulled a chair over to my bed. “What’s going on Julie?” “I should be dead,” I replied feeling anger rising inside me. However, I was too weak to project it, so I just put a hand over my eyes instead. “Why. What’s up?” “You gave me the gun,” I replied. “Julie, I gave you a soft gun that looks like a real gun. The kind we use onset in the series I’m in.” “But why?” “Julie. I know about Curtis and Ellen. Curtis called me because he couldn’t get hold of you.” “Too right. I don’t want anything to do with that asshole anyway.” “I understand and I’m furious with him as well. I said he should leave you alone and that he’d only make things worse if he tried to get in touch with you. But I was worried when you called me last night to ask if we could meet for breakfast. I didn’t want to mention what had happened. I thought that when you were ready, you would come talk to me about it. When you asked for a handgun, I became even more worried. I never bought that story about you needing it for research. But again, I played along. I could be wrong after all. I didn’t want to leave you earlier, but since I knew you couldn’t really hurt yourself with that gun, I decided to come back later. I stole your key card so it wasn’t hard to come back in. You probably fainted from the soft gun shot because you were in shock.”
I let it all sink in quietly and then I sat up, ignoring the pain in my head. “Why? Why? Why? Why?!” I shouted the last why, which made Ruby whimper and hide between my pillows. “I just can’t go on living anymore Annika. Don’t you get it?” “And do you think I’d have really given you a real gun? Come off it Julie. I know what Curtis has done to you has broken your heart. I’ve had this happen to me as well a long time ago. But that’s no reason to end it all now is it?” “It’s not just Curtis,” I said. “It’’s,” I paused, unwilling to pronounce the name of my death sentence out loud. “It’s leukemia,” I said finally. Annika’s mouth open in surprise and she stared at a point in the ceiling for a while before she said almost in a whisper, “I’m so sorry Julie.”
I told her everything. From the visit to the doctor surgery and the discovery of Curtis and Ellen’s ‘meeting’. “Oh my… I am so sorry. I wish you’d told me before.” I shook my head. “I couldn’t. It was too hard.” “But are you sure it’s an aggressive leukemia?” I shrugged my shoulders. “Anyway, I don’t know what to do now,” I said. “I don’t have an agent anymore and where will I live?” “The second question, I can help you with straight away. You can live with me until we find you somewhere nice you like. As for the agent, you’re a bestselling writer, so we’ll find you one.” “And this time, I want a female.” Annika nodded. “I have contacts. I’ll ask around.”
In that moment my phone rang. I had been avoiding all phone calls accept the one or two from Annika. I picked up my mobile which was on the bedside table to reject the call when I saw it was from the doctor’s surgery. It was 8 PM and the doctor calling this late could only mean that it was important. The last thing I wanted to do was to talk to my doctor, but since Annika and Ruby were here and I was still alive, I pressed accept.
“Julie!” My doctor was almost shouting into the phone. “Where have you been? I’ve been trying to reach you since yesterday.” “I’ve just not been able to answer the phone,” I said weakly pressing my knees to my chest. “Well, did you get my voicemails?” “No, I didn’t check them.” “Well, I have good news for you. Well, maybe not great news, but not bad either. “I swear he was almost laughing. “What?” I said sharply. I got the other tests back. Your Leukemia is the non-dangerous type. You will require some treatment, but you will be ok.” I sat frozen in disbelief, trying to take in the message. “Are you there?” “Yes, I said. “I am just…” And then the tears came.
Annika and I opened the mini bar and split the mini bottle of Pino Grigio between us. “I don’t know whether to laugh, cry or be angry,” I said trying to save a bag of peanuts from Ruby’s paws. “You’ll be fine. And you’ll meet someone who won’t cheat on you. Just concentrate on getting well and to get that novel out.” “You know what? Maybe I will write a novel about a female agent after all,” I said “Not a bad idea at all,” Annika replied “I have one question for you,” I said and sipped the wine. It was so much more pleasant than the whiskey and it tasted fresh and cool. “Who broke your heart?” “Well Julie, if you really wanna know, it was a long time ago. We were only 22 and fresh out of college. I thought he was the one, but he then one day, I came across him screwing some other girl at a party. He said it was because they’d both been drunk. But I decided I couldn’t risk him doing it again, so we broke up. I’m so glad I didn’t give him a second chance. And today we’re on speaking. It was Curtis.