Monthly Archives: October 2012

The mysteries of male female friendships

I have always had quite a few male friends. In fact, one of my best friends is a guy and I think it’s healthy to have both friendships with your own gender as well as the opposite one.

But I have been having a few thoughts recently as to how even the friendships of between people of the opposite sex are, because more often than not, some kind of attraction seems to arise at some point during the friendships.

Take me and my male friends for example. In some cases, we started off by being attracted to each other, but for one reason or another, the attraction turned into friendships and stayed that way. In other cases, we started off as friends, but at some point, he would either get attracted to me or me to him. In most of those cases, the attraction eventually disappeared, although not always completely.

Many of my girlfriends as well as me, have experienced that when we get out of a relationship for example, those men we thought were friends, appear to not want to remain just friends when we become available on the market.

Another classic is that really lovely male friend who is always there. He’s straight, in touch with his feelings, but not in a dorky way, he always has time for you and so on. In fact, it’s the kind of man we’d really like our boyfriends to be, except he’s missing that little extra. Maybe he’s too geeky, not smooth enough, or doesn’t have the right body type. And when he finally gets a girlfriend, or even starts liking another girl, we get jealous even though we didn’t like him in that way. We want to be his only girl.

I know 100 per cent platonic male female friendships do exist, although I am questioning it after a guy I thought felt nothing for me other than as a friend said that he wouldn’t mind if something physical was to happen between us. Forgive my French here, but when your friend becomes a fuckbuddy, it’s a miracle if the friendship remains.

But maybe for guys, the way between friendships and something else is shorter while girls have a habit of placing guys into category. “you\re in my friendship ox and that’s where you’ll stay” kind of.

What are your thoughts on this?